'straya 'straya, we love you, amen.
In a further effort to maintain my integrity with the amount of posts on what is abstractly called a 'daily online journal', and In the spirit of boing boing, and previous 'electronic posts' of my own, ive compiled another cut and paste pastiche of musings that the ironic wit amongst you should find particularly scintillating.
I discovered these, what some would call, gems over breakfast, browsing the 'world wide web'. An attempt in trying to remain up to date with important issues of the day as they occur in the antipodes. These stand out news bites from 'strya inform me of how my fellow country men are being portrayed and makes me bloody prouder than i ever been.
"I thought it was a load of ferals and I was going to give a mouthful to them," Mr Dick told the court.
He went inside to make a cup of tea and smoke a cigarette, and saw the couple sitting at an inside table.
"She looked pretty alright, a bit of long hair, neat and tidy," he said.
"She had this fellow with her, short cropped hair, like Italian, Greek or something. You can pick they are foreigners."
"... I didn't perve on her that hard."
http://www.news.com.au/story/0,10117,17016341-29277,00.html
"Ecstasy only causes fun, so from our [medical] point of view it is different," Dr Thong said.
http://www.smh.com.au/news/world/fear-stifled-truth-says-leslie/2005/11/11/1131578238205.html
Australians average when it comes to sex.
http://smh.com.au/news/WORLD/Australians-average-when-it-comes-to-sex/2005/11/09/1131407660373.html
And this patronising prose from the pages of The Chap, enlightens an antipodean to the position they hold in society from the view of an englishman. All the more reason to rid ourselves of the affliction of the monarchy. It may be satire but the sentiments are prevelent througout my encounters with the english.
Sir,
I recently returned from a protracted trip to the Antipodes or, to be more precise, Australia. I was most impressed with their progress. They now enjoy electricity, proper plumbing, not to mention petrol driven motor-cars (they are sensible enough to drive on the LEFT of the road, incidentally), and even radio! I was amused by their constant referring to me as a 'Pom', and decided to do some research as to the origin of this charming native slang. I was given various explanations, including a couple which I will not deign to honour with inclusion, but tend to come down on the side of the suggestion that it comes from the final syllable of that little phrase of lyric that any English chap worth his salt can effortlessly and efficiently apply to any good tune. That is...'Tiddly Om Pom Pom'. I haven't got to the bottom of the other words that they used to refer to me, such as 'Dag' and 'Complete Galah', but I'm sure that, sooner or later, the explanation will be forthcoming. All in all, therefore, despite one or two other crude habits which one would expect in a Colonial in terms of drinking habits and use of local dialect, I was most impressed with this far flung part of the Empire. I thoroughly approve of the encouragement that we give them by occasionally letting them win at cricket and wholeheartedly support the view (even if it seems a trifle revolutionary one) that they could well be able to govern themselves within a few decades. So impressed, indeed, was I, that I have now decided to visit South Africa. Now that the war there is long settled and the Boers thoroughly routed, I leave today and hope to experience similar progress in Cape Town.
Earl Okin of Portobello
http://www.thechap.net/LETTERS.html
I discovered these, what some would call, gems over breakfast, browsing the 'world wide web'. An attempt in trying to remain up to date with important issues of the day as they occur in the antipodes. These stand out news bites from 'strya inform me of how my fellow country men are being portrayed and makes me bloody prouder than i ever been.
"I thought it was a load of ferals and I was going to give a mouthful to them," Mr Dick told the court.
He went inside to make a cup of tea and smoke a cigarette, and saw the couple sitting at an inside table.
"She looked pretty alright, a bit of long hair, neat and tidy," he said.
"She had this fellow with her, short cropped hair, like Italian, Greek or something. You can pick they are foreigners."
"... I didn't perve on her that hard."
http://www.news.com.au/story/0,10117,17016341-29277,00.html
"Ecstasy only causes fun, so from our [medical] point of view it is different," Dr Thong said.
http://www.smh.com.au/news/world/fear-stifled-truth-says-leslie/2005/11/11/1131578238205.html
Australians average when it comes to sex.
http://smh.com.au/news/WORLD/Australians-average-when-it-comes-to-sex/2005/11/09/1131407660373.html
And this patronising prose from the pages of The Chap, enlightens an antipodean to the position they hold in society from the view of an englishman. All the more reason to rid ourselves of the affliction of the monarchy. It may be satire but the sentiments are prevelent througout my encounters with the english.
Sir,
I recently returned from a protracted trip to the Antipodes or, to be more precise, Australia. I was most impressed with their progress. They now enjoy electricity, proper plumbing, not to mention petrol driven motor-cars (they are sensible enough to drive on the LEFT of the road, incidentally), and even radio! I was amused by their constant referring to me as a 'Pom', and decided to do some research as to the origin of this charming native slang. I was given various explanations, including a couple which I will not deign to honour with inclusion, but tend to come down on the side of the suggestion that it comes from the final syllable of that little phrase of lyric that any English chap worth his salt can effortlessly and efficiently apply to any good tune. That is...'Tiddly Om Pom Pom'. I haven't got to the bottom of the other words that they used to refer to me, such as 'Dag' and 'Complete Galah', but I'm sure that, sooner or later, the explanation will be forthcoming. All in all, therefore, despite one or two other crude habits which one would expect in a Colonial in terms of drinking habits and use of local dialect, I was most impressed with this far flung part of the Empire. I thoroughly approve of the encouragement that we give them by occasionally letting them win at cricket and wholeheartedly support the view (even if it seems a trifle revolutionary one) that they could well be able to govern themselves within a few decades. So impressed, indeed, was I, that I have now decided to visit South Africa. Now that the war there is long settled and the Boers thoroughly routed, I leave today and hope to experience similar progress in Cape Town.
Earl Okin of Portobello
http://www.thechap.net/LETTERS.html
posted by gabe at 11:37 pm
1 Comments:
It's all gold Gabe, mate
maaaate
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